


Terminal

by waywardkayoss (wyntereyez)



Series: Unfinished and Abandoned Fics [1]
Category: Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alternate Universe, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2002-06-27
Updated: 2002-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-06 02:34:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11026788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wyntereyez/pseuds/waywardkayoss
Summary: An experiment that goes wrong changes the lives of all those involved.





	1. A Twist of Fate

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published on fanfiction.net under the pseudonym Ladykayoss from June 27, 2002 to February 10, 2003.

TERMINAL

Chapter One

A Twist of Fate

2063

"Doesn't anything on the damn station work?" Colonel Hein snarled as he was escorted to the nearest hangar. His breath gusted around him in frosty puffs, and he was suddenly grateful for the whim that had made him select a black leather coat as his outfit of choice.

Chief Technician Scott Formain wasn't fazed by the colonel's attitude. "You were warned. The Zeus Cannon requires time to build. And with most of the power being used in the labs, the cannon control room is a low priority."

Hein inwardly seethed. Those stupid bureaucrats who ran the International Council didn't understand the need for the Zeus! Yes, so maybe its construction had been a drain on the economy, but it would be worthwhile once the cannon was operational! Not like these damned scientists, who hid in their labs, trying to "understand" the Phantoms. Why bother? He'd blast them all away with the Zeus, and then what would millions of dollars been unwisely spent on?

Assuming, of course, the cannon ever reached the operational stage. After two years during which the project had been shut down, there were so many glitches in the systems that straightening them out would take almost another year!

This latest incident was merely one of many, though the first to actually force Hein to leave. The control room had decided to shut down its life support systems, and the room had automatically sealed itself, leaving a handful of technicians to die of cold or asphyxiation before the doors could be pried open. If the system hadn't been isolated from the Zeus Station's systems, everyone on the station could have died.

As a result, all unnecessary personnel were being evacuated. Hein, despite his dubious rank as the man in charge of the Zeus, was deemed "unnecessary" and was therefore leaving the station a week earlier than planned.

"I apologize for the delay," Formain said stiffly. "You will be informed when we have the control room ready again."

Hein just snorted. "As ready as it was now? And is this going to delay the replacement of the corrupted ovo-packs in the generators?"

"I don't know, Colonel," Formain said, struggling to hide his annoyance.

"The Council will not be pleased when I report this to them," Hein said. He glared at the technician, making the man squirm under his piercing gaze.

"We'll get the information to them as quickly as possible," Formain said quickly. "As soon as we assess the damage."

Hein didn't deign to reply; he joined the rest of his men who were boarding the shuttle. _This is perfect..._ Hein thought angrily. _They put me in charge of the cannon, and I can't even stay on board!_

He was fuming as he took his seat well away from the rest of the soldiers, technicians, and scientists being evacuated. The Council had trusted Hein to bring the Zeus Cannon project back on track, but all these incompetent fools kept bungling the process! He'd been due to return planet side to play a role in the upcoming worldwide cleansing mission, but not like this. Not as a failure. He'd hoped to have something to tell those who doubted the project. Something to quiet the naysayers once and for all.

Hein sighed and pulled a photo from his coat's inner pocket. Shutting out the noise of the other passengers, he focused his eyes on the two figures in the picture, a woman and a little girl barely five years old.

"I'm doing it for you," he whispered, running a gloved finger over their images. "So why is it all going wrong?"

* * *

Aki ran her fingers down Gray's rough cheek, lingering over his lips. He smiled, a gruff expression but genuine nonetheless, and grabbed her hand in his own, then leaned into the caress.

"I'll miss you, Aki," he told her softly. His eyes never strayed from her own, and she could see how much he meant it.

"I'll miss you too, my captain," she said, her voice a little husky. _Captain…_ She liked the way the word sounded. Gray had tried for so long to achieve the rank, and now his dream had come true. But with it had come a month long tour of duty in Chicago. Gray was eager to see his hometown again, Aki knew, though he had no family left there after the city's partial fall twelve years ago.

"'My captain,'" Gray repeated. "I like that..." He looked thoughtful for a moment. "Think I should ask all of my men to call me that?"

Aki slapped him lightly on his arm. "They can call you captain, but you're only _my_ captain." She smiled at him. "I am glad that you made the rank. But I wish you weren't going to be gone so long."

Gray pulled her into a tight embrace, and Aki leaned against his chest with her eyes closed for a moment before pulling away. "I'll write to you as often as I can. I'll call too, if they'll let me. It's only a month," he said, attempting to reassure her but sounding as unhappy as she felt.

"I know," Aki whispered, leaning forward to kiss him. It would be their last kiss before he departed, and Aki wanted to make it memorable.

They parted, both a little breathless. "I need to get going," Gray said reluctantly, after a quick glance at the clock. He hefted his suitcase, and Aki quickly straightened his collar, then walked with him to the door. "Behave yourself," Gray said, a teasing grin on his face. "Don't do anything dangerous."

Aki pouted. "Gray, in this world, anything is dangerous." She walked with him from his apartment to the jeep waiting to take him to the hangar. Both fell silent as the corporal driving the vehicle directed Gray to place his suitcase in the back. They didn't exchange another kiss before Gray took his place in the jeep, both having decided it would make him look unprofessional, but from the longing in his eyes before the jeep pulled away, Aki knew he wished they'd had a better good-bye.

_It's not like he's going to be gone forever,_ Aki reminded herself sternly. But still, she missed him already.

_Don't do anything dangerous._ Gray's words haunted Aki. They almost sounded prophetic. Did he know what she and Dr. Sid had planned? If he knew about the live Phantom that was arriving in New York in two days time, or knew what they'd planned with it, she doubted Gray would leave, even if it cost him his career.

* * *

After almost two months of zero gravity, the return of his full weight made Hein stagger. He caught himself on the wall, leaning against the cold concrete until his body stopped shaking.

Fighting back the nausea, Hein carefully picked his way across the hangar, maintaining his balance with only the greatest of difficulty. He needed to report to General Hudson, the man in charge of New York, as soon as possible. It wasn't an interview Hein looked forward to.

He made it, still lurching drunkenly though feeling less wobbly on his feet. Hein struggled to regain his balance, not wanting to seem weak in front of the general. He strode up to the desk sergeant, who saluted him. Hein ignored the gesture. The sergeant ushered him into the office.

General Hudson, a rugged military man in his fifties, didn't bother to hide his dislike of the young colonel who had entered his office. "So you goofed, I hear."

Hein struggled to control his anger. "The Zeus Station is incomplete… There were bound to be glitches."

"So I've seen from this report," Hudson said, with a languid gesture towards his console. "Quite the height of technology, isn't it?" He seemed amused by the station's deficiencies. "You have your work cut out for you."

Hein just grunted. "What would you like me to report?" he asked. "You seem to have everything already."

"There's nothing I want from you, Colonel." The general said the rank distastefully, making it clear what he thought of men who rose in rank without proving themselves in combat. "But it seems I'm stuck with you for now, until the cleansing mission. I guess I should put you to use. That is, if you feel up to it?'

Hein refused to rise to the bait. Clearly, Hudson knew he didn't adapt to gravity changes very well, and that he'd be ill for more than a day.

"Yes," the general said thoughtfully. "There is something you could help me with tomorrow, something that has my men nervous. They're transferring a live Phantom to one of the labs –"

Hein sat bolt upright. "What?" One of those abominations was going to be _inside_ the city? "How could you allow that?" he demanded.

"We need more information about the enemy. Obviously, we can't study them in the field, so my men have captured a small one for Dr. Sid."

If General Hudson had hoped invoking the famous scientist's name would calm Hein, he was wrong. "You can't do that! It's not safe; it'll kill everybody!"

"I can allow that," Hudson's tone was cold. "I want you to minimize the possibility that it'll wreak havoc. If you think you can do that."

Hein snarled. "I'll be there," he said. "But make sure you have it on record that I don't approve of this."

"Noted," the general said calmly.

* * *

Aki couldn't contain her shudder of fear when she saw the Phantom for the first time. Its humanoid body had become visible with its exposure to the bio-etheric barrier that enclosed it. Aki had never really seen a Phantom this close before, and something about its asymmetrical features triggered a primal fear that had made herself, her fellow scientists, and even the soldiers with them, wary of getting close to it.

"Ugly bastard, isn't it?" Dr. Sid said, coming up behind her and laying a hand on her shoulder. "Capable of destroying an entire city." A sad expression flickered across Dr. Sid's face, and Aki realized he must have been remembering his wife. Not surprising, really; at the sight of the Phantom, Aki's thoughts went to her long dead parents. "We must be very careful," Dr. Sid murmured, checking the readouts on the specially constructed cage. "We may have the general's permission, but did you see that colonel? The one in the black leather?" His lips twisted distastefully, and Aki agreed: What a waste that coat was, when there were so few cows to supply leather these days. "He's going to be watching us, waiting for us to make a mistake. What we're doing here is dangerous. If something goes wrong, the Council won't hesitate to shut us down. It's not too late to back out," Dr. Sid said quietly.

Aki licked her lips nervously. "You know you can't continue your studies without me," she said. "I'm not afraid."

When Dr. Sid had first scanned her, he'd discovered there was something unusual about her spirit, something he'd never seen before. A fragment of her spirit, when compared to a Phantom's, seemed to be the complete opposite of it. Since Phantoms and spirits were energy, and opposing waves cancelled each other out, then it seemed as if Aki's spirit could hurt a Phantom. If Dr. Sid's theory was correct, Aki's spirit could lead to more powerful weapons.

But they had to test it, first. Aki was going to implant a piece of her spirit into the Phantom. And she'd have to be close to it to do so, without a barrier between them.

"Another could go in there and place the spirit as well as you could," Dr. Sid reminded her.

"It's my spirit," Aki murmured, her gaze never leaving the Phantom's pacing form. "I wouldn't ask another to do this for me."

"Are you ready?" Dr. Sid asked. She knew he was unsurprised by her decision. "We can have everything ready within the hour."

Aki took a deep breath, then slowly let it out. "I'm as ready as I'll ever be," she said.

* * *

_This is stupid… Why did General Hudson authorize the use of a Phantom in an experiment within the city?_ Hein moved at his fastest walk, trying not to run through the hall of the USMF's scientific wing. He'd heard from a trio of soldiers who were participating as guards that the experiment was going to begin in fifteen minutes… and he wanted to make damn certain some stupid scientist wasn't going to make New York another San Francisco.

Brushing past another soldier acting as sentry at the door, Hein ignored the man's startled salute and entered the lab, where Dr. Sid stood by a row of monitors next to a young woman Hein only vaguely remembered seeing earlier.

_So they haven't begun yet. Maybe I still have time to stop this foolishness._

Dr. Sid turned at his arrival, and barely hid the look of disgust on his weathered face in time. "Colonel Hein," he said, and the woman beside him turned to face Hein as well. "To what do we owe the pleasure of your company?"

The man's patronizing tone annoyed Hein. "I want you to stop this experiment at once," he snarled.

"We have General Hudson's approval," the woman said fiercely, her dark eyes flashing in anger.

"Calm down, Aki," Dr. Sid warned. "But Dr. Ross is right," he said to Hein. "We do have the general's permission. And if this experiment pays off, it could give us a new edge over the Phantoms."

"Or it could give them an edge over us when that thing breaks loose and destroys the city," Hein said angrily.

The console beside Aki bleeped, and she scanned the readouts that appeared on the screen. "Barrier is powered up," she said.

"If you'll excuse us, Colonel, we have an experiment to perform," Dr. Sid said, turning his back on Hein to check the screen before him.

General Hudson had explained what he knew of the experiment to Hein: The Phantom would be prodded into a specially constructed room where complex scanners could analyze the Phantom's spirit and monitor what passed for its vitals. Meanwhile, someone had to enter the room to "infect" the Phantom with… something; the general hadn't known the details. In other words, a scientist and two armed soldiers were going to enter a small, confined space with a Phantom.

"Since it seems that I can't stop you," Hein said through clenched teeth, "let me in there."

Even the solemn Aki looked stunned. "We can't allow that," she said quickly. "The two who are going with me are prepared for this. You…" she faltered, but she met his eyes defiantly. "You are an unknown variable. You could ruin everything."

Hein ignored her and turned to Dr. Sid. "I could ruin everything by bringing a stop to the experiment now," he said. "At least this way, I can minimize the chances of disaster."

Hein had the satisfaction of seeing the elderly scientist swallow his anger and adapt a more subdued expression. "All right. But you are not to interfere with the experiment in any way, do you hear? It's risky enough as is."

"I wouldn't dream of it," Hein said silkily. "I want to let you dig your own grave."

Dr. Sid's thin hands clenched, and behind him Aki shot Hein a look of pure loathing. _It must gall her that I'm going to be in there to protect her._ Hein allowed a smug smile to slip across his features.

Then the expression faded. _I'm going in there with a Phantom… One of the bastards that killed my family._ At his sides, his clenched fists began to shake. _No… I can do this!_

Hein took the Nocturne offered him, numbly realizing it had been years since he'd fired one. Target practice with a handgun couldn't prepare him for the half-remembered weight of the bio-etheric weapon. He fingered the trigger as he tried to regain a feel for the weapon. It wouldn't look good for a colonel to be unable to use the weapon.

"Do you have any armor?" Aki asked. He didn't like her vaguely superior tone. She could sense his fear… _And she sounds almost like me… In her shoes, I wouldn't want me along, either._

"Do you?" Hein countered, eying the silver body suit favored by the scientists in the field. It offered little in the way of protection.

Neither did the armor, for that matter. Perhaps he shouldn't interfere. The human race was losing, and anything Dr. Sid could offer would be of use.

Aki's nose crinkled slightly. "I'm going in the way I am." She turned her attention from Hein to the dart gun before her. Its reconfigured injection dart carried what resembled an ovo-pack of this substance that was supposedly harmful to the Phantoms. Hein didn't see the difference, really.

"Let's go," Aki said with a sharp nod to the armored soldiers, and a last scathing look at Hein. Hein returned her gaze impassively.

Aki keyed the code that would form a break in the room's small barrier, allowing them to enter before closing off behind them. Hein eyed the small space nervously, wondering how they were expected to survive a Phantom encounter. _Idiot woman! You've signed your death warrant and brought us with you!_

In front of them was the small enclosure where the Phantom was contained. At Aki's command, it would be released. Hein had asked why they couldn't just shoot the monstrosity through the barrier, but Hudson had just said something vague about this new spirit energy being diluted when passing through a barrier's energy.

With trembling fingers, Aki pressed the door-release button for the Phantom's cage, then backed hastily away. _So she's not as confident as she pretended to be._ That wasn't good…

The Phantom's hooting cry ripped through the air and the beast lunged forward. It had been maimed by the soldiers capturing it, Hein had been told, by shearing off the extendible tentacles.

Aki wasted no time; she fired, and the bio-etheric dart hit the thing's chest dead center. It slowed its charge, long, misshapen arms falling just short of Aki. It screamed and began to thrash, and Aki backed further away. Around Hein, the other soldiers readied their Nocturnes, but Aki lifted her hand, and they held their fire.

A thin film of blue spread through the creature's body, and for a moment it seemed that the creature was going to break apart. Then its body glowed an angry red again, but it still shrieked as if in agony.

When it stilled, sinking through the floor slightly to the barrier beneath, Aki moved forward.

"Don't…" Hein began.

"It's dead," she said with surprise. The Phantom lay limp, its glowing features slack. It looked as if it should be solid, rather than formed from energy. One ongoing theory about their origins was that the Phantoms had been created as a weapon and their features had been based off their creators. "I think," Aki finished.

She turned away, but kept a wary eye on the creature. "All right, Sid," Aki said. "Let us – "

It had looked as if Aki had cleared the Phantom's body, but its arm, hidden from sight below the floor, suddenly lashed upwards. Hein reacted without thinking; he was closest to Aki, and only he had seen the movement in time. He sprang, knocking the scientist out of the way of the alien.

They landed on the floor, and as Hein struggled to his feet, he saw an amber glow just beneath his shirt that thrust slowly outwards as the Phantom's fingers pressed through his chest. His whole body felt as if it were on fire, and the world around him began to fade slowly away as his spirit was drawn from him.

The last thing he heard as he slumped forward was the firing of the Nocturnes and the Phantom's screams, and then there was nothing.

To Be Continued…


	2. Ghost of a Chance

TERMINAL

Chapter Two

Ghost of a Chance

Dr. Sid removed his hands from the bio-etheric laser's control sphere, a look of complete helplessness on his face. Aki felt her heart sink as Sid pulled away, moving to stand by Colonel Hein's unconscious form. "It's too late," he said dully. "The infection was too great, and dug in too deeply. He has two, maybe three days at most before the infection kills him."

Aki swallowed, her throat dry. _He's a terminal patient… the living dead. And it's all my fault!_ "There's nothing we can do?" she whispered, her voice cracking. "He… he saved me."

"We have to move him in to quarantine before he becomes infectious. I'll report this to General Hudson; there's no need for you to get involved. It wasn't your fault."

He'd never convince her of that truth. She'd killed one of the world's best hopes for beating the Phantoms. She'd heard of Colonel Hein; of his arrogance, and close mindedness. But she'd also heard he was brilliant, and unmatched when it came to tactical maneuvers.

Aki went to his head, ignoring Dr. Sid's warning not to get too close to the patient. _He looks so young! Barely older than Gray!_ "When are we moving him?"

"As soon as possible. I should call a medic right now," Dr. Sid began.

"No," Aki said firmly.

"Aki? Why not?"

"They'll just shut him away, where no one can see him or speak to him, except through a barrier." She noticed Dr. Sid refrained from asking why anyone would want to speak to the obstinate colonel. "I wouldn't be able to apologize."

"That won't do you any good. He'd just yell at you, anyway," Dr. Sid said sadly. But there was compassion in his voice, as if he'd understand the man's attitude for once.

"I know. But maybe that will help him. And I deserve it." Aki's face was drawn to the image of Hein's spirit, still floating above his still form. "Could we keep him here until he wakes up?"

"Aki," Dr. Sid said sternly, "he may never wake up. And if he does, he may not even be in his right mind. Keeping him here is dangerous."

"Please? For peace of mind?" Aki's face was drawn, and her normally bright eyes seemed empty. She was taking this hard, and she doubted she'd ever be able to sleep again without seeing Hein's horror-stricken face when those alien fingers had ripped through his spirit…

Dr. Sid pursed his lips. Then he gave in. "Two hours," he said. "After that, awake or not, we send him to the medical center."

"Thank you," Aki murmured.

"Do you want to stay with him?"

"Yes. It's the least I can do." She shuddered. "Can you imagine waking up alone, knowing you have an infection inside of you, slowly eating away at you, and that you'll never speak to anyone again? I want to spare him that, even if all he does is curse me for doing this to him." She pulled up a chair to the operating table. There was little danger at the moment of being infected by Hein. The treatment shield was only necessary for operations, when the particles would be fighting the treatment. Left alone, they would be quiescent as they slowly devoured Hein's spirit. "What will you be doing?"

Dr. Sid dismissed the floating image of Hein's spirit. "I'll be examining the data from the experiment and trying to figure out just what is so different about your spirit. Maybe this won't all have been for nothing." With a last glance at Hein, Dr. Sid left the small operating chamber.

Left alone with the colonel, Aki slumped in her chair. She studied his face, the harsh lines of which had been softened by his condition. _He doesn't look that cruel, really. Just… weary. Like he's lost something precious, and is barely hanging on._ It was a common look. Almost everyone Aki knew had lost family to the Phantoms. It was nearly impossible to find anyone in the military that didn't want revenge on the Phantoms.

She hoped he'd wake up soon. She prayed he'd be lucid when he did. If he died before she could thank him…

But he didn't stir. The only motion was the shallow movement of his chest. His skin was pale and waxen, clammy to the touch. _It's no use… he isn't going to wake up. But maybe it's better this way. He'll never know the solitude of this way of death if he remains comatose._

_But I will. God, how am I going to live with this? It's all my fault… The Council will have our heads for this. And Gray… Gray won't ever trust me again._

"Aki?" She started at Dr. Sid's voice. She checked the clock, realized only an hour had gone past, then eyed Dr. Sid with confusion.

"I still have another hour," she began.

"You may have longer," Dr. Sid said, a strange gleam in his eyes. "Pack your things; we're going on a trip."

"What?" Aki said. "We're not running away…?"

"I may be able to use your spirit to save his life," Dr. Sid said. "But we need time. I'm moving him to the Zeus Station, since zero gravity slows infections. And we need to get there now, before the infection spreads too far and it's too late for him."

Aki jumped to her feet. "The military won't approve; neither will the Council."

Dr. Sid waved a hand dismissively. "We'll clear up the red tape later. For now, we need to get going if we're to save his life."

* * *

He hurt… He hurt everywhere, in ways he couldn't describe. How could he hurt this way? What had happened, anyway? What was that throbbing in his chest?

Hein slowly drew in a breath and released it, tasting the sterile atmosphere around him. Where was he? What had happened? An accident… Something had gone horribly, horribly wrong. _A Phantom… a woman… pain…_

His eyes snapped open as he remembered a Phantom's hand piercing his chest. _My God… It touched me!_ Had he been saved?

Hein tried to summon the strength to sit up, but something was holding him down, and he was too weak to fight. A moan slipped from his lips.

"You're awake?" The soft, feminine voice sounded garbled to his ears. His senses didn't seem quite right; he could barely feel the rough sheets beneath him, or make out any detail in the walls around him. He couldn't even identify the woman. "Anna?" he whispered, the name a burbling moan. Had he died?

"I'm sorry?" the voice said. A face came into view, a dark corona of hair swimming around her pale features.

Hein didn't bother to speak again; the effort hurt. The woman, whose face was slowly coming into focus, turned suddenly, a move that sent her drifting upwards. _Zero gravity… the Zeus? Or am I just totally out of it?_ Considering how he felt, the odd dissociation from the environment made him think the latter was true.

"How is our patient?" another voice asked. Hein tensed, or thought he did. _I know that voice!_

"He's awake, Sid, but I don't think he can speak," the woman, who he now identified as Dr. Aki Ross, answered.

"Can he understand us?" Dr. Sid asked, moving close enough for Hein to see the sympathetic expression on the man's face. _I must be dying for him to look like that…_

The knowledge didn't move him as much as he'd thought it would. Since his wife and daughter had died, he'd only been living a half-life anyway. At least this way, he would be with his family soon.

"Do you understand?" Dr. Sid asked him directly.

Hein tried to say yes, but the word didn't make it past his lips, coming out as a sigh instead. So he tried to nod, but only managed the faintest of movements.

"You were infected by a Phantom and went terminal before we could do anything for you," Dr. Sid said bluntly. _So I am dying…_ "Your senses and perceptions are off because your spirit was almost pulled completely free before the Phantom was destroyed. Your spirit snapped back into your body, but it will take awhile before you are completely normal." And by then, he'd be dead anyway, Hein realized. He wondered why he wasn't in quarantine. Perhaps the doctors were trying to cover up their mistake by hiding him until he died. "You are aboard the Zeus station, which is why you are currently strapped down. We've found that zero gravity slows the spread of infection."

_So my agony will just be prolonged?_ Hein felt a surge of rage. _They must be doing this because they want something from me before I die. I won't give it to them!_ He'd never suspected Dr. Sid of such cruelty… Hein closed his eyes, hoping to discourage conversation.

"We've managed to halt the infection for now," Dr. Sid continued, "but it's only a temporary reprieve."

Hein's eyes snapped back open. "Wha – " he managed. They'd halted the infection? That wasn't possible, was it? Hein's groggy mind struggled to remember everything he knew about infections. All that came to him was the fact that once you went terminal, you were dead. His eyes narrowed angrily. They were only trying to foolishly comfort him before his death…

"Sid," Dr. Ross said gently, placing a hand on the older man's shoulder, "I don't think he's up to it right now." She'd been watching Hein intently, her gaze worried. "You look tired," she told him. "We shouldn't bother you with all this right now. All you need to know for now is that you'll live." She drifted over to his head, allowing his still-blurry eyes to meet her gaze. Was she truly concerned for him? "This machine," she gestured to a band of metal that stretched across his chest, "is keeping the Phantom particles at bay for now, and we are working on constructing a portable version for you." She reached out one hand, her fingers brushing his with a tingle of sensation he barely felt. "It's the only way I can think of to thank you for saving my life."

She was right; he was exhausted. He was as weak as a newborn, and he no longer felt up to keeping his eyes open. He'd live… he wasn't sure if it was kindness or cruelness, but he'd live.

Later, he'd speak to Dr. Sid and Dr. Ross about this, but not now. He let his eyelids droop, and he drifted into slumber, letting his body continue the difficult task of pulling itself back together.

* * *

"He was furious," Aki said, when she was certain they were out of earshot. "I could see it in his eyes."

"Surprised?" Dr. Sid drifted easily nest to her, his body more agile in zero gravity. "This is the beginning of a whole new set of problems for us." He absently pulled himself along, pausing occasionally to rest. "We've likely lost the military's support. And probably the Council's, as well."

"But our research is all that can keep him alive," Aki argued. "If the military wants to save him, they'll have to allow us to continue."

"Sounds like blackmail, doesn't it?" Dr. Sid countered. "We now have a hold on one of their colonels."

Aki sucked her breath in sharply. She hadn't even considered that possibility. She'd just thought they'd be grateful Hein had a chance at life – and that others may as well because of their research. "They must realize we'd never do anything like that."

"The military sees what it wants to see. And they exert quite a bit of influence over the Council, no matter how many supporters we have."

"By saving his life, we may have endangered our research, just when our discoveries are the most promising." Aki's grip tightened around the pull-bar she was clinging to. "Damn it. I wish it _had_ been me with the infection; then no one would have to know."

"Aki, don't speak that way. I'm glad you aren't infected; I need you. The planet needs you. We'll work this out. You'll see."

"Right," Aki said softly. "Everything will be all right."

* * *

Aki always felt guilty about being aboard the Zeus. It was the one place where no one had to fear Phantoms, and it felt wrong to be able to sleep soundly and safely when so many millions of people went to sleep at night wondering if they'd even wake up again. Dr. Sid had joked that the instability of the station's systems should make up for the lack of Phantoms, and she'd had to admit he was right. Even now, much of the station's personnel were preoccupied with one such crippling disaster.

Aki was sitting in the desk chair of the small room provided for her when she was on board, her legs wrapped around it to keep from drifting. She stared at the blank walls, imagining the Earth far below, still beautiful despite the damage done by the Phantoms. Gaia was holding on, but for how long?

Gray was down there, too. How was her captain doing? Should she call him? Aki longed to hear his voice, to feel his arms around her body, to taste his lips… But the knowledge of what she'd done to one of his fellow officers was a leaden weight on her heart. _It could have been Gray… It would have been him if we'd waited for him to return. He'll be angry I put myself in so much danger, and he'd be right. This was… unnecessary._

She thought of Colonel Hein, barely able to move, or even breathe on his own. Maybe his body would recover, but he'd never be the same. She'd checked on him again before coming to her room and had found him asleep, though his body spasmed uncontrollably and his eyelids had twitched rapidly. His breath had come out in low moans. She'd been able to do nothing for him, nothing except check his spirit and see that it was again fusing with his body. By tomorrow, she guessed, it would have settled into place.

Along with a Phantom infection.

What had they done? Sid was right; if their theories about spirits were correct, this man's life was now entirely dependant upon them. She remembered when he'd walked in on the experiment, against the will of his general. _This is not a man who likes to rely on others._ He wouldn't thank them for destroying his career and his life, that was for certain.

_Maybe we should have let him die…_

The membrane Dr. Sid had created from her spirit to contain the Phantom particles would go a long way towards proving his theory that there was another way to halt the Phantom invasion without causing further destruction. If they let Hein die now, all their data would be lost. But was it kind to let Hein live as a science experiment?

Aki slumped down in her chair. She didn't think she was going to get any sleep tonight. She'd last slept for a few hours after the procedure because she'd been physically – and spiritually – drained. More samples of her own spirit had had to be drawn to create the membrane. She doubted she'd be able to get any more sleep any time soon.

_If I can't get any sleep, I may as well make myself useful._ After quickly pulling on her coveralls over her nightgown, she headed down the silent corridors to the lab that doubled as Hein's recovery room.

Her eyes flickered briefly over the monitors; he was nearly recovered now. His breathing was more even, and he'd slipped into a deeper sleep. She lightly touched his skin, which was still cold and clammy, but he'd regained some warmth.

Now, she thought, would be a good time to take his measurements. She and Dr. Sid planned to construct a chest plate to maintain the membrane, something more compact and portable then the panel suspended over his chest.

She dug out a measuring tape and awkwardly touched his bare chest, feeling a wave of guilt. _Stupid… it's not as if you're interested in him!_ Still, she had to admit he had a nice body; firm and well-muscled, though a little on the thin side, as if he didn't have time for proper meals. Or didn't care. Aki lightly ran her finger along one rib as she tugged the measuring tape around his torso, and shivered at the contact. _Stop it! This man is dying because of me, and I'm admiring his body?! How low can I go?_

She turned away in embarrassment, even though there was no one to see. She stowed away the tape measure, having completed her task, then wondered if she should leave. He seemed so… alone. None of the other scientists who knew about his infection wanted to get near him, and everyone else was being kept away. And as far as Dr. Sid had been able to find out, Hein had no family, or even close friends. Widowed, Dr. Sid had heard, though Aki noticed he still wore his wedding ring.

_You have no one. I'll stay with you tonight,_ she decided. She floated over to the bench lining one wall, settling herself upon it. She stayed there for the rest of the night.

* * *

Hein awoke once, escaping the throes of a nightmare about his wife and daughter by entering the equally nightmarish real world, in which his own body felt alien, unreal. _Still aboard the Zeus… Still a prisoner of my own body._ But he could feel a difference this time. While his body still ached, he could now feel the sheets pressed into his back, the roughness of his restraints, the cold of the room that raised goose bumps on his bared torso. It was dark, but his eyes adjusted gradually.

_She's here!_ Hein could barely make out the dim shape of Dr. Ross, her body settled in a relaxed pose, eyes tightly closed. She was watching over him… sort of. For a moment, he found the gesture oddly touching… until he remembered she was responsible for his condition in the first place. It was guilt that had brought her here.

_But she did thank me._ He scowled suddenly. Why had he saved her, anyway? She was a foolish scientist, and the world could only benefit with fewer of them. What made her different? Nothing, he knew. But he'd saved her.

After losing his wife and daughter, Hein had stopped caring. What was the point in wasting emotions on someone who was only going to die anyway? He'd stopped thinking of soldiers as people, only as means to defeat the Phantoms. To him, the scientists and the Council were merely obstacles to overcome. He no longer cared about people, only what they could do for him and how they could be manipulated to fit his own agenda.

So… why had he saved Dr. Ross? Why had he interfered with the experiment? Why hadn't he let her learn from her foolishness the hard way?

Hein shut his eyes as another wave of pain washed through him. It didn't matter, anyway. What was done, was done. And he highly doubted he'd live to regret it, anyway.

* * *

When he next woke, the pain had eased to a dull throb, and all his senses seemed to be in order. Hein listened to the bustle of activity going on outside his blocked-off area, reveling in the fact that he could listen, smell, feel again. Only the knowledge that this was temporary kept him from responding with joy.

The weighted curtains walling him off from the rest of the station slid open, and Dr. Ross entered, with Dr. Sid close behind. Dr. Ross held a familiar container he recognized as a food tray, which she set on a side table, while Dr. Sid had a slim, flat object with straps that drifted around his hands.

"Good morning, Colonel," Dr. Ross said, her voice restrained. _Good; if she were cheerful, I'd have to hurt her._ Hein wasn't a morning person. "How are you feeling?"

Hein's eyes narrowed. "I can feel. That's the best I can offer you."

"Your spirit has settled," Dr. Sid said, his gaze on the monitors. "As soon as I place this, I can release you." He held up the contraption, and Hein scowled.

"What is that?"

"We saved your life by using Aki's spirit to form a membrane around the infection. This panel maintains the membrane." Dr. Sid moved forward, and Hein tried to flinch away.

"You're saying that panel – this 'membrane'– cures me?" Hein snorted in disbelief. "Forgive me, Doctors, if I think that's impossible."

"Not a cure," Dr. Ross said quietly. "It's only temporary. We're going to have to continually… recharge it, I guess you could say, with compatible spirits."

"What are you talking about?" Hein stared. This was utter nonsense! He was infected. He was going to die. That's all there was to it! 

"It's our belief that we may find more spirits like Aki's that are disruptive to a Phantom's spirit. By planting them in the membrane, it should increase the strength. What we've done won't last forever, Colonel," Dr. Sid said.

"This is bullshit!" Hein said. "You expect me to believe that other people's spirits can keep a Phantom infection from killing me? And what is this about recharging it? You make it sound as if – " Hein bit off his words as the realization hit him. "I'm stuck with you. To stay alive, I have to stay with you, don't I? I'm going to have to live my life with you holding my leash! What you're saying is that you'll have total control – total power! – over my life! I'd rather die, first!"

Dr. Sid gave Dr. Ross an I-told-you-so look. "With this portable chest panel, you can almost live a normal life."

"Almost. But I may as well forget my military career. Hell, I won't even have a personal life once this gets out because no one will want to be near a terminal patient!" There was a hysterical edge to Hein's voice, but he didn't care. "Of course, what does it matter? I'll you two to chaperone me, and you'll be able to monitor your sick little experiment, too. Everything will be fine, won't it?"

"Shut up!" Dr. Ross cried, startling both Hein and Dr. Sid. "I just wanted to save your life! I didn't want to turn you into an experiment! You saved my life; I only wanted to return the favor!" She loomed closer, looking as if she were going to slap him. Then she gave a furious toss of her hands, almost sending herself into the wall with the force of the movement, and left the small compartment.

Dr. Sid watched her go, then turned to Hein, a look of suppressed rage on his weathered features. "Is this how you treat everyone who shows a little compassion towards you? If so, then perhaps it's better for us all if you aren't in a position to save the human race. You'd probably end up destroying it instead." Dr. Sid angrily tossed the chest plate aside and followed Dr. Ross out.

To Be Continued…


	3. Absent Without Leave

TERMINAL

Chapter Three

Absent Without Leave

Aki was halfway to her quarters before her anger began to cool. She slowed, letting her momentum carry her forward for several feet. _That was stupid of me. Of course the colonel was upset; who wouldn't be? And of course he's lashing out at me. It's my fault. Her hand snagged the pull-bar, and she halted herself. I should go back. I won't apologize… but I'll try to be more understanding._

_If he doesn't force me to kill him, first._ Aki turned and began to pull herself back towards the labs and their moody patient.

Dr. Sid passed her on the way back. "Going to give it another try? Good luck," the scientist snorted. "Maybe you can wrap the chest plate around his neck."

"Sid!" Aki said, shocked. Then she smiled. "This is a side of you I've never seen."

Dr. Sid sighed. "And I get the feeling you're going to see it more often, with him around. We can't leave him… he'll die without us, and we need to make him understand that."

"I'll talk to him," she said. "I'll try to be patient," she continued wryly, "but there's no guarantee." She'd thought Gray was stubborn… Were _all_ officers this frustrating?

Aki braced herself and went back into the room where Colonel Hein was staring up at the ceiling, a glum look on his face. His eyes flickered briefly in her direction, but he carefully avoided looking at her directly. "Now what?" he asked thickly.

Aki picked up the chest plate from where it had drifted. She slowly untangled the straps, frowning thoughtfully. "I have to put this on you," she said calmly. "Then you'll be able to get up and move around without danger."

Hein's face was sullen, but he held back the sharp retort she knew he wanted to voice. "We don't want to keep you prisoner," she said, her voice softer. "This is just until we find a real cure." Aki released the straps on Hein's arms, and watched as he slowly pulled them to his chest. "Can you sit up?" she asked as she moved the arm of the machine that maintained the membrane.

Hein complied, moving slowly and wincing. "Muscles still hurt," he mumbled through gritted teeth. Hesitantly, Aki pressed the cool metal plate to his chest, watching him flinch as it touched his bare skin. "It's cold!" he gasped. She ignored him as she gently looped the straps around his back, fastening and tightening them securely. She could feel him shiver under her hands, and felt the goose bumps on his pale skin.

"Almost done," she said. Deftly, she activated the components that monitored the membrane, bringing up the holographic representation of the writhing mass of red particles encased in a blue sphere. "There," she said, backing away.

"So now what?" Hein asked bitterly. "It would seem I'm in your hands now." Aki flushed, and turned her head away to hide it. _In my hands, indeed…_

"First, you can put this on." She handed him a bulky grey sweater, large enough to completely cover the chest plate. "Then, breakfast, if it's not cold." She gestured to the tray she'd set aside earlier.

"I'm not hungry." Hein kept his gaze averted, refusing to meet her eyes as he pulled on the sweater.

"Oh?" Aki arched an eyebrow. She'd seen the wistful way he'd eyed the tray when she'd entered. He was definitely going to try her patience. "I'll just leave the tray here, then. Your pants are here," she opened a drawer beneath his bed, "if you feel up to getting completely dressed." She spun gracefully away from him, drifting towards the dividing curtain.

"You're leaving?" Hein's mouth abruptly snapped shut when he realized what he'd said. He'd sounded so plaintive, so alone… "Go on, then."

"I have to help Dr. Sid. Saving you created quite a mess we have to clean up."

"I didn't ask for it," Hein snapped. But there was less of an edge to his words, as if his anger was fading.

"I'll be back in about half an hour to check on you. Try to eat something, all right?" She let her concern show on her face. _Perhaps if he sees that someone actually cares whether he lives or dies, he'll make an effort to get well. If that's even possible._

The colonel's only response was a grunt, and he stared at the sterile wall in front of him. Aki sighed in defeat and left, closing the curtain tightly behind her.

* * *

After the doctor had left, Hein sagged, wearily closing his eyes and sighing. The pain had diminished to a dull throb concentrated under the chest plate, and he wondered if it would ever leave him. His hand lightly touched his chest, where he could feel the hard edges of the plate under the wool. Maybe no one else could see it, but he knew it was there. He knew what it represented. Death…

Hein straightened, and his muscles protested at the motion. He ignored the pain. After all, to one who'd lived with so much of it for so long, what was a little more pain to him? 

Hein concentrated instead on getting his legs to work. They were bare, and he felt a twinge of embarrassment as he wondered who had undressed him. Then he put the thought aside and got slowly to his feet.

The lack of gravity was a big help; otherwise, he knew he'd never have made it. His legs didn't want to obey his commands, and his knees felt stiff and wouldn't bend.

_Damn! I'd better get over this before the cleansing mission._ Then his eyes widened and he stiffened, a quick motion that set him drifting. _The mission! Did I miss it?_ If he had, then he could kiss his military career goodbye. Not that he had much of a career left anyway, in his current condition. _If I lose my rank, I'll never have the chance to avenge my family._ That was why he was trying so hard to make general before he was forty; it gave him a real chance at vengeance. He wouldn't just be a nameless soldier with a small gun against Phantoms; he could make an actual difference! That was why he'd had so much hope for the Zeus.

But now... now he was doomed to a slow, pointless death, stripped of rank and alone in his misery. By saving him, Dr. Ross had condemned him.

A tear dripped down his face, startling him. He'd thought he'd cried his last years ago, but now another tear joined the first. _Damn..._ He'd vowed not to cry again, after the loss of his family. It would be a sign of weakness, a sign that despair was overwhelming him.

But that didn't matter, not anymore. He felt nothing but despair now. So he stood, alone in his secluded room, and let the tears flow freely.

* * *

"Let me go." Those were the first words the colonel said to Aki when she returned. He was standing with his back to her, gripping the edge of his bed to keep from drifting. The tray of food, she noticed, remained untouched.

"Go where?" she asked, though she already knew. He longed for freedom, and she didn't blame him. "You mean, let you leave?"

"You say I'm not a prisoner," Hein said. "If that's so, then let me leave. Let me return to my life."

"You're not a prisoner," Aki said gently, "but you are a patient. You're unwell; I can't let you go until we're certain you're safe. Dr. Sid and I won't be responsible for releasing an infectious patient. We need to keep you here until you're better - "

Hein whirled around, an oddly controlled movement that showed he'd spent a lot of time in zero gravity. "We both know I'm not going to get better," he snapped. "Don't pretend otherwise; I won't be patronized." His tone was cold and commanding, that of a man used to being obeyed. "I know I'm dangerous, and that I'm dying. I only want to take part in the Phantom cleansing mission, if it isn't too late."

"If you're going to go, you want to take something with you, is that it?" Aki asked. She studied his face, noticing his sunken eyes were slightly red.

"It's better than living what's left of my life as your experiment," Hein said. "Once word of my infection gets out, I won't have a place in the military, anyway. Let me do this; let me make one final strike against them!" Hein's bitter voice had a plaintive note to it.

She took a step towards him. "I can't promise you anything," she said finally. "But I will speak to Dr. Sid about it."

His lips thinned, and she could see the skepticism in his pale eyes. She tried to give him a reassuring smile, an expression which fell flat. Hein turned away, dropping onto his bed with a flinch as he settled his still-hurting body. He folded his hands behind his head and stared up at the ceiling.

Aki sighed. He was really trying her patience… And he was obviously through talking to her, as well, for he had closed his eyes and didn't open them again. _Dismissed… I hope he's not like this with his troops!_

She left him, intending to find Dr. Sid right away. But he proved unavailable; he was locked in a conference with several of the station staff, and would likely be there for hours. She chose not to disturb him.

So what could she do? She had gone to her room after locating Dr. Sid and perched on her chair. She stretched, suddenly aware of how weary she was. She'd gotten little sleep since Hein's infection… perhaps she should take a nap.

She stretched out on her bed, her thoughts drifting towards Gray. How she missed him! It would be so long before he came back to her. How could she last? And… what would he say when he learned about Colonel Hein?

_Colonel Hein…_ Her thoughts were again for her patient. He was cold and arrogant and downright rude to her, and he made her want to scream and rip the chest plate away, letting the Phantom finish him as he desired.

And yet, he'd saved her. And behind his arrogance, she could see the fear and pain he was trying to hide. _Argh! Why does he have to be so frustrating?_ Aki had the feeling this was only just the beginning.

* * *

It was a dream that woke him. Vague and formless; nevertheless, it left him with a feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach. Pain flared in his chest, where the infection was confined, but it slowly faded to a dull ache as Hein wakened.

_What was that?_ It hadn't had the feel of his usual nightmares, in which he saw his wife and daughter die in vivid detail despite not having been present when it happened. This had been different. Strange. _Alien…_

Hein shivered, suddenly uncomfortably aware of the cold sweat covering his body despite the chilly atmosphere. Where was his coat? Had he worn it during Dr. Sid's ill-fated experiment? No; he seemed to recall leaving it in his apartment.

Beyond the curtain, the laboratory where he was being held was quiet. Perhaps the scientists were on lunch; no matter, it meant that he was alone.

So now what? There was little he could do. Although there were no locked doors, Hein was still trapped by the infection within. Wasn't he? Dr. Ross had said the chest plate could be concealed… especially under his bulky coat. _I wonder…_ Hein sat up slowly, his expression calculating. The Zeus still had only a skeleton crew due to the evacuation that had sent him planetside prematurely. And the lab technicians were gone for the moment.

He peeked out from the curtain to be sure. The lab was indeed deserted. _So I'm not worth the effort to watch, am I?_ A faint smile touched his cold lips.

Perhaps there was still time to participate in the cleansing mission. If so, then he wasn't going to let his captors stop him. _I won't just lie back and let death claim me!_ Mentally, he mapped out the quickest route to the shuttle bay. He knew the station better than most of its builders by now, and he didn't think anyone could stop him in time.

* * *

An insistent buzzing woke Aki, and she groggily thrust out her hand, groping for her alarm. Then it sank in that it wasn't the alarm she heard, and she forced herself into alertness as she activated the phone.

"Hello?" she slurred. She sounded awful; was she really that tired?

"Dr. Ross?" The face that projected before her was one of the lab techs, the man she'd asked to check in on Hein. "It's about the colonel."

Aki's heart almost stopped. "What is it? Is he all right?" Had the particles broken through the membrane?

"He's gone; the station personnel are searching for him, but no one's had any success."

_Oh, no…_ "Has anyone checked the shuttle bay?" Aki demanded. _Please, don't let him have left the station!_

"I don't know," the man admitted.

"Had Dr. Sid been notified?" she asked finally.

"Yes… he's right here with us," the man began. 

"I'll be right there," she said curtly, then disconnected.

She was still dressed, so she wasted no time in getting to the laboratory. "I thought he was being watched!" Aki said angrily when she reached the group still with Dr. Sid.

"We only left him long enough for lunch," one of the lab techs began weakly, but Dr. Sid silenced him.

"How he escaped doesn't matter," Dr. Sid said. "The entire station is on alert; they know we have an escaped patient, though they don't know the details."

Aki calmed slightly. Most of the station was unaware they'd brought the infected colonel on board. As far as anyone knew, they'd just brought someone to the station to save that person's life. If the station personnel knew the whole truth, who knew what would happen…

One of the station staff was coming towards them now, his alarmed face and jerky movements in the zero gravity all Aki needed to see to know something had indeed gone wrong.

"You were right about the shuttle bay, Dr. Ross," the man said grimly, and Aki's heart sank. "He's gone."

* * *

It had taken some fast talking to calm the man at the hangar and persuade him to let Hein land the shuttle in New York. The unscheduled arrival in the public hangar – Hein didn't want to risk using the military hangar until he'd cleared things up with his superiors – caused a lot of problems, but in the end, Hein was able to dock. He was able to bypass the scanning facility since he had come from the station, which was a relief because he had no clue how he'd explain what was inside of him.

At the thought, he absently rubbed the chest plate, feeling the edges under the wool shirt. It chafed, and he wanted to rip it away. But he couldn't; his presence had already been noted by the military and he had to put in an appearance.

Even if he was too late for the cleansing mission. When he'd seen the calendar, he'd wanted to scream in frustration. How could he have been aboard the Zeus so long without being aware? How could he be two days late?

There was nothing he could do about it now. He couldn't even find out the results, since the information was still classified. He didn't know anything. He could only sit in his small room, leather coat resting on his knees, and wait. When he'd first reached his quarters he'd been given for his temporary stay in New York, General Hudson had already learned of his arrival. Hein had found a short, terse message from one of Hudson's underlings to report to the general at 1500. Now he could only wait and worry.

His absence could mean a court martial. He was a commanding officer, and he'd missed one of the most important missions of his life. _Damn it… Damn Dr. Sid and Dr. Ross… Damn them all!_ He clenched his fists until his knuckles turned white, digging his nails into the flesh of his palms. He welcomed the pain, a hurt that made more sense than the throbbing in his chest. This pain sharpened his thoughts, made him feel more alert. Good. He'd need it. In one more hour, he was going to face General Hudson, and likely a panel of other military officers to condemn his actions. He'd need all his wits to escape the humiliation of court martial.

And if that did happen and he was out of the military for good, then death was still an option. All he'd have to do was remove the chest plate.

* * *

"Absent without leave, Colonel. T hat's a very serious charge, especially for an officer of your standing." General Hudson stood by Hein, managing to seem to loom over him despite being the shorter of the two. "The Phantom cleansing mission would have benefited from your presence." Hein bet it hurt Hudson to admit that. But Hudson's face and tone remained carefully neutral, which Hein was struggling to emulate. He feared his own indifferent mask was slipping.

"The mission suffered heavy losses under the man who replaced you," Hudson continued, his voice suddenly cold. "And while I doubt you could have made this mission successful, your expertise could have saved many lives."

_So it hadn't gone well, then…_ He tried to convince himself it wasn't his fault, but he had difficulty believing it.

"If it were my decision alone, I would have you court martialed." Since Hein had already considered that option, he didn't give Hudson the satisfaction of seeing him flinch. "However, my peers have decided against it."

Hein didn't shift from his attentive posture, didn't let his face show any emotion, but inside, his mind was in turmoil. How had he earned this reprieve?

"Information on your whereabouts has recently come to light," Hudson continued. _Oh, no…_ "A few hours ago, we received a message from Dr. Sid that you had received a Phantom infection and were taken aboard the Zeus due to its severity."

Hein's eyes widened imperceptibly. _Damn them… how dare they spread this around?!_

"Dr. Sid said the threat was taken care of, but they had to keep you for observation due to some, how did they put it, 'spiritual dislocation'." _So they haven't told the whole truth. Of course, they're covering their own asses as well as mine._

"He said you are now fit for duty… but my peers and I agree you can't resume your previous duties. You still failed to inform us of your whereabouts, leading to disaster."

He was making Hein sound like a negligent private, though he'd had no way of telling the general or anyone else! He bit back his anger, his urge to tell the general he'd received the infection in an experiment he'd authorized…

"Therefore, it is the decision of your superiors to demote you to the rank of major. You'll be attached to the New York contingent, under me."

Hein's heart sank. He could think of worse punishments, but he felt humiliated. "Yes, sir," was all he said, the words clipped.

"I am sorry, Major," General Hudson said, his voice sounding genuinely sympathetic for the first time. "If you had made it to the cleansing mission, you probably would have made the rank of general."

To Be Continued…


End file.
